7:24: Schilling throws his first strike of the night. Sock is still white. I will keep you posted if he starts spontaneously bleeding.
7:26: Fucking Sizemore.
7:28: Sidenote - I will live blog this as much as my functions allow me. I've had two glasses of wine already, and have 10 beers waiting for me in the fridge. Could be Joe Namath/Suzie Kolber time for me by the end of the night.
7:31: Manny is underrated as a fielder. He's had some plays in the post season that make him look like Neo from The Matrix.
7:32: 1-0 Mistake By The Lakers. Manny played it beautifully off the wall (see 7:31pm post).
7:33: Inning over. Thank the baby jebus. It's Papi and Manny time!!
Oh, I should probably start posting on my Red Sox blog Monster Seats
7:35: WHAT IN THE FUCK IS JAMES TAYLOR DOING READING THE LINE UP?? He looks like he's either stoned out of his mind, or doesn't know how to fucking read. Douchebag.
7:44: Youk and Papi on base. It's time for Manny to do what Manny does.
7:46: Double play. Dammit.
7:55: Double play back atchya!!
8:03: Does anyone else hate Joe Buck AND Tim McCarver as much as I do? God, I think I'd rather listen to christian conservative talk radio for three hours.
Maybe I will.
9:17: My wife absconded with the computer, so I haven't been able to post my reaction to the 5-3 Indians lead. Here it is:
Oh, and Schilling is mercifully out...
9:23: You know, High Life IS a good, honest beer.
Also, I'm drinking beer, screaming at the TV, AND playing a freeroll on Stars at the same time. Just doubled up.
9:26: Also, I played a freeroll this morning and finished 171st out of 9500. I know it's LOLOL!! donkfest, but that's not too bad, yo.
9:27: Carmona is OUT! Thank the 8 lb. 6 oz. baby jesus. Let's get to their bullpen!
9:40: BACK TO BACK, BEETCHES!!!
10:00: Beer is taking effect.
10:06: Bases juiced for the Mistakes. Fart on my ass. AND Pronk is up. This is like Fonzie with a jukebox, yo.
10:10: So, I quit my job Friday. I'm so glad to be out. I was selling LAUNDRY for chrissakes...
for those of you at home, I was selling uniforms/shop towels/mats that sort of thing. Ugh. My new job is in my old industry (A.V.), and I got a nice $15K bump in salary, generous commission, and a company car. Oh, and I could sell A.V. to a Katrina refugee. I'm excited. I start on the 29th, and think that World Domination will soon be at hand.
How you like me now??
10:17: I believe I just saw Schilling EARS bleeding. Does that count?
10:53: Beer is definitely...DEFINITELY settling into my system. Blogging may be scarce. I ran TT into KK and was bounced from my tourney early. Oh well...
11:24: Too Drunk Too Call. Papel-bot just ended a scary top o' the 9th with a groundout. For a second, I thought it might go through the middle and did a wookie yell that woke up one of the kids.
Wife. Is. Pissed.
11:25: Remember ALF? He's back. In POG form!
11:26: Just thinking about it, you know what I love? Manny's swing. Yeah, I know, it seems like I have a man-crush on the guy, but have you seen his freakin' swing?
One part Ted Williams + Two parts "I don't give a shit". Stir gently with self-confidence, and there you be. What a great, great hitter he is.
11:44: The more I see Grady Sizemore, the more I hate the fucker. Nice catch, prick.
11:54: Hey, Alex Cora- WHEN YOUK SAYS HE'S GOT THE FUCKING BALL, DON'T TRIP HIM UP!!!
There's a reason why Pedroia's at 2nd. Numbnuts.
11:59: Is it just me, or does Mike Lowell look like he's about to burst into song, Sinatra-style, every time the camera shoots to him?
Luck be a homer, tonight. Luck be a homer, tonight.
MIDNIGHT: In another Stars freeroll. I'm smack talking although I haven't been in a hand in about 15 minutes. Here's an excerpt:
InvestorNo1: thought so
Bloody P: i will smoke you all
Dealer: kings X, it's your turn. You have 15 seconds to act
Bloody P: thought so
Bloody P: beetches
Bloody P: i am the bestest poker player this side of doyle brunson
Dealer: the66kid, it's your turn. You have 15 seconds to act
Bloody P: or Ted Forrest
Bloody P: lick it, c0cks
kings X: watch the profanity son
Bloody P: king's x was cool in 1989
Dealer: kickindupa, it's your turn. You have 15 seconds to act
kings X: well, I still like them so let it be
Dealer: TxTornado65 has a pair of Jacks
Dealer: kickindupa has two pair, Aces and Jacks
Dealer: Game #12615028085: kickindupa wins pot (1925) with two pair, Aces and Jacks
Bloody P: go lick your own c0ck, SON
kings X: you are a sick person
12:09: Um, WHY is Gagne in the game???
12:15: FUCKING SIZEMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
12:18: Wild pitch? Screw this, I'm going to bed. And praying for a miracle....
This has been a presentation of Back Alley Mugging.