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Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Full Tilt Cap NL

The past few nights I've been messing around with the Cap NL games on Full Tilt. Holy Sweet mother of baby jebus are they fishy. I highly recommend them. People think of "pushing" with absolutely nothing, because unless they have $7.50 or less, they're really not putting their entire stack on the line. I've found that if you play solid tight/aggressive poker and don't try to get too trick, you can clean up. It's sort of like limit, without the stuff that makes limit as boring as watching paint dry.

This evening, I played TWELVE hands of .10/.25 Cap NL and ended up $25.00. TWELVE HANDS. Of course, I was dealt Jacks three times and pocket 10's once, but still...

After dronking off about $10 last night, I'm up well over $50 over the past three nights playing these bad boys.

Here's an example of the kinds of hands I played tonight:

Full Tilt Poker Game #1326160359: Table Bertelli (6 max) - $0.10/$0.25 - $7.50 Cap No Limit Hold'em - 20:21:27 ET - 2006/11/29
Seat 2: notatiltter ($47.90)
Seat 3: DerCommander ($12.10)
Seat 4: theprodigy20 ($17.75)
Seat 5: Bloody P ($17.20)
Seat 6: orrspur ($35.85)
DerCommander posts the small blind of $0.10
theprodigy20 posts the big blind of $0.25
The button is in seat #2
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Bloody P [Jd Jc]
Bloody P raises to $1
orrspur raises to $3
notatiltter calls $3
DerCommander folds
theprodigy20 folds
Bloody P raises to $5
orrspur raises to $7.50, and is capped
notatiltter folds
Bloody P calls $2.50, and is capped
orrspur shows [9d Js]
Bloody P shows [Jd Jc]
*** FLOP *** [6c 5c Td]
notatiltter: lol
*** TURN *** [6c 5c Td] [3d]
*** RIVER *** [6c 5c Td 3d] [2h]
orrspur shows Jack Ten high
Bloody P shows a pair of Jacks
Bloody P wins the pot ($17.45) with a pair of Jacks
trippedaces sits down
trippedaces adds $15
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $18.35 | Rake $0.90
Board: [6c 5c Td 3d 2h]
Seat 2: notatiltter (button) folded before the Flop
Seat 3: DerCommander (small blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 4: theprodigy20 (big blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 5: Bloody P showed [Jd Jc] and won ($17.45) with a pair of Jacks
Seat 6: orrspur showed [9d Js] and lost with Jack Ten high

Has anyone else played these? Are they just as soft at higher levels?

I'd be interested to hear other people's opinions.

Oh, anyone hear anything out of Britney Spears lately?

Sunday, November 26, 2006

The Flophouse

It's been a good 'first Thanksgiving' in a small town. We stuffed ourselves with a family recipe that has lived in my wife's family for generations and enjoyed each other's company. Until 7:45pm, of course, and then the wife whisked us back home to enjoy Grey's Anatomy in peace. Mc Fuckin' Dreamy. I hate that guy.

Moving on...

Horicon has put up all of its 1950's Christmas Tree/Angel/Bell lights on the lamp posts, as well as big, shiny, tinsely "SEASONS GREETINGS" sign strewn across intersections at every main point of access to the town. It looks like fucking Bedford Falls here right now. Part of my wants to run down main street howling, "Merry Christmas you wonderful old Building and Loan!".

Black Friday was spent with only one goal in mind: staying the hell out of the way. I hate crowds. Especially crowds that consist of 99% gargantuan, greasy women burping up BK Croissandwiches, and beating the hell out of each other for a $10 DVD player that they'll give as a gift to someone who knows they only spent $10 on it at fucking Walmart or Kmart or wherever, and will use the damn thing for two weeks before it blows up not only itself, but the Special Edition DVD that they bought with their own money that cost 5 times as much as that shitty DVD player cost.

The P's pretty much just layed around in our pajamas and watched TV, played some board games (Candyland forever anyone?), and vegged out. 'Twas nice.

Until I saw something in a circular that made my brain twitch. I even felt something move in my bathing suit area.

Sports Authority had a $240 poker table on sale for $80.

So I got my ass out of bed at the crack of 9:30am on Saturday, threw on a sweatshirt and my PokerStars cap and drove an hour and a half to to pick one up.


Here's a good idea of what it looks like:

Although this is a "Pit Boss" and mine is a "Royal Flush", they are virtually identical.

Oval? Cupholders? LUCKY!

I spent the rest of the day cleaning out a room full of boxes and turning it into what I've decided to call "The Flophouse". Get it? Get it? Damn, I'm clever...

So. Yes. I now have a poker room with a fully functional Death Star poker table. Considering that there isn't a ton to do here in bumfuck Wisconsin, I think it will get quite a bit of use once the snow starts flying.

Lastly, I'd like to thank all of the poker bloggers who have played cash games with me the past two weeks. You've helped double my online bankroll, and been a blast to hang/play with.

Awwwwww, snap!

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Thanksgiving Recipe

It's a four-day weekend for the P family.

Here's a great Thanksgiving recipe:

Eat turkey.

Drink beer.


Friday, November 17, 2006

Banning Online Poker is a Good Thing

That's right, beetches. I said it.

OK, OK, I don't really mean it, I'm just sick of the Leather Goddess of Phobos that is Mistress Variance kicking my baby jebus loving ass every night.

Let's put it this way: In the past 6 weeks, I've played quite a bit of live poker. And I've been running the tables. I've had made a significant profit every time I've played. I've been killing, Jerry! Killing! (Ovaltine? Why is it called Ovaltine? It should be called Roundtine!)

The good news: I'm up about $200 in live poker play in the past 6 weeks.

The bad news: I'm down about $75 in online poker play in the past six weeks.

Yes, I'm up overall. But, WTF??? Maybe it's because I'm playing such low stakes that people are more willing to stay in to chase draws. Maybe it's just that I get so easily distracted while playing online. I dunno.

This isn't a bitch post, it's a question. How can I run so hot in one aspect of the poker realm, and so cold in another?

It's frustrating because I play live poker so much more infrequently than I do online. Maybe that's it. Variance hits me more (and harder) because I play SO much more online.


This past Tuesday, I played at a buddy's house, and after being short-stacked for awhile, made a nice run and ended up taking down the tourney (8 handed).

I'd had a few beers before I got to the game, and a few more while playing. While I was short stacked, I opened up the fridge to grab another beer and a Diet Pepsi came tumbling out. I didn't touch the damn thing. Someone at the table said condescendingly, "I think someone may need to call a cab later."

I was buzzed, but certainly not drunk. The comment pissed me off. I began to run the table. The cards started hitting, my bluffs started working, and my reads became spot-on.

Once I won the damn thing, I turned to the table and said, "I think you fellas may need cab fare after that."

Damn it felt good to be a gangstah.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

R.I.P. Iggy

Iggy was The Beatles of poker bloggers.

'Nuff said.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Online Poker Is Rigged

After a uber successful tear through the micro-limits on Full Tilt and PokerStars, I've started to cool down.

I had run my FT bankroll up from $10 to about $140 in a matter of weeks, and was feeling damn good about myself.

I also had a monster run at some live poker, running the table (with BadgerBucco) at a home game in Minneapolis, and then taking my bi-monthly game here in Wisconsin for almost every penny on the table.

So. Yes. I was running hot. Extremely hot. Full-of-myself hot. I-can-do-no-wrong hot. I-will-push-preflop-with-the-hammer-and-win hot.

Now? Not so much.

I've dropped over $20 tonight on FT, for example. Big money in my micro playing world. My coin flips are flipping the other way, my rivered straights are getting beat by rivered flushes, top two pair getting beat by a set, etc.

I'm not bitching, whining, or letting my gash go unstitched. I owe no one a dollar.

It's just interesting to watch how things can swing back and forth. You think that you're bullet-proof on the felt one day, then the next, someone slips some kryptonite in your back pocket and suddenly you're looking at your own blood.

Granted, I'm still way up from when I withdrew all of my mad cash when the "douchebag" law passed, but it doesn't make this anti-run any more fun.

Here's my question for anyone that still reads this here pitiful excuse for a blog:

What do you do when you start running bad?

I've thought of three things I can do:

1. Play through it without tilting off my bankroll.
2. Switch from cash games to SnGs for awhile and see if there is any sort of turnaround.
3. Stop playing altogether for awhile to get some perspective.

I'd love to hear what anyone else is doing/has done when these bad streaks occur.


Saturday, November 11, 2006

You Know What I Like?

I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waste
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung
Wanna pull up front
Cuz you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh, baby I wanna get with ya
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But with that butt you got
Me so horny
Ooh, rub all of that smooth skin
You say you wanna get in my Benz
Well use me, use me cuz you ain't that average groupy

I've seen them dancin'
The hell with romancin'
She sweat, wet, got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette

I'm tired of magazines
saying flat butt's the only thing
Take the average black man and ask him that
She gotta pack much back, so

Fellas (yeah), fellas (yeah)
Has your girlfriend got the butt (hell yeah)
Well shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake that healthy butt
Baby got back

(LA face with Oakland booty)

I like'em round and big
And when I'm throwin' a gig
I just can't help myself
I'm actin like an animal
Now here's my scandal

I wanna get you home
And ugh, double ugh, ugh
I ain't talkin' bout Playboy
Cuz silicone parts were made for toys
I wannem real thick and juicy
So find that juicy double
Mixalot's in trouble
Beggin' for a piece of that bubble
So I'm lookin' at rock videos
Watchin' these bimbos walkin' like hoes
You can have them bimbos
I'll keep my women like Flo Jo
A word to the thick soul sistas
I wanna get with ya
I won't cus or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna fuck
Til the break of dawn
Baby, I got it goin on
A lot of pimps won't like this song
Cuz them punks like to hit it and quit it
But I'd rather stay and play
Cuz I'm long and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the friction on

So ladies (yeah), ladies (yeah)
If you wanna role in my Mercedes (yeah)
Then turn around
Stick it out
Even white boys got to shout
Baby got back

(LA face with the Oakland booty)

Yeah baby
When it comes to females
Cosmo and got nothin to do with my selection
Only if she's 5'3"

So your girlfriend rolls a Honda
Playin' workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda
My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns hon
You can do side bends or sit-ups, but please don't lose that butt
Some brothers wanna play that hard role
and tell you that the butt need to go
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
So Cosmo says you're fat
Well I ain't down with that
Cuz your waste is small and your curves are kickin'
And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'
To the beanpole dames in the magazines
You ain't it Miss Thang
Give me a sista I can't resist her
Red beans and rice didn't miss her
Some knucklehead tried to dis
Cuz his girls were on my list
He had game but he chose to hit 'em
And pulled up quick to get with 'em
So ladies if the butt is round
And you wanna triple X throw down
Dial 1-900-mixalot and kick them nasty thoughts
Baby got back

Wednesday, November 01, 2006


are UBER ghey.