Dronkey

Let's get one thing out of the way: I have no desire to be a professional poker player. I play purely for recreation and relaxation. That said, I want to play well, grow my bankroll, and be able to hang in there when I play in the WWdN tourneys or other blogger events instead of always finishing in the middle of the pack.

But, I am a man of vices. Smokes? Check. Degenerate gambling? Check? Boozehound? Check. Preferably all three at the same time? Check.

Lately, I've been playing break-even poker. I've been looking for holes in my game, and I think I found a monster:

Sweet, sweet beer.

Beer + Poker = Break-even. For me, anyway.

I like to have a few pops when I sit down and hit up the Titan SnG's for a couple of hours. Funny thing is, I start out strong, finishing in the money in the first 3 or 4 shorthanded SnGs that I play, and then things start getting progressively worse and worse. And when I shut down the poker machine, I'm either even, or up just a bit.

I know this should be completely and totally obvious to me, but I've always pegged my late losses on being overconfident from my previous cashes, or horrible suckouts, or bad beats. No, my friends, it's the beer.

Much in the same way that you tie one on and think that getting behind the wheel of a car is a great idea because you're 'just fine', tying one on and playing poker leads to chasing runner-runner flush draws, calling one-outers without any odds, and making bad bluffs with middle pair. This leads to flaming people who hit their straights with 56 offsuit, or bitching to your poor wife about what a donkey that guy was for cracking your Jacks his Queens (yes, I know how ridiculous that sounds). You are not 'just fine'. You are a "drunk donkey", or a "Dronkey". "Dronk" for short.

My name is Bloody P, and I'm a Dronk.

It's a hole I've got to fix, and fast. My bankroll is never going to get to where I want it to be if I keep this up.

So, I'd like to raise my glass and propose a toast to changing my Dronkey status.

Right after this beer.