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Monday, August 28, 2006


Not dead, just moving.

We're in. FINALLY. I singlehandedly loaded (with a little help from B), and unloaded a 24' truck. I haven't felt my legs in two days. Haven't used the middle one even longer.

Besides cleaning up at a home game in Minneapolis last week before the move, no poker to report.

I hope to GOD I we can get our DSL installed this week so I can play some cards and girlie chat with y'all.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Move Along...

Nothing to see here.

A post lamenting my lack of poker play, and how my wankin' hand is sore from signing so many documents related to buying/selling a house may come in the next few days, but instead why don't you go check out For Peyton.

Junkus Humongous has done a good thing here, indeed.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Table Banter

I don't usually post hand histories here, but these two were too good to pass up. I found Guin on the Mimosa IV table and figured I'd join him for a couple of minutes. It actually ended up being about 15 minutes total. Guin must have left at some point (and I must not have noticed!) during these two hands.

Keep in mind, I bought in for $4.00, just playing on playing for a bit while I surfed for jobs.

PokerStars Game #5846980990: Hold'em No Limit ($0.05/$0.10) - 2006/08/08 -
20:18:24 (ET)
Table 'Mimosa IV' 9-max Seat #7 is the button
Seat 1: jocko0240 ($9.90 in chips)
Seat 2: Bloody P ($3.90 in chips)
Seat 3: forpearl ($4.15 in chips)
Seat 4: Falco63 ($10.20 in chips)
Seat 6: ImFlush ($12.55 in chips)
Seat 7: dondada02 ($3.05 in chips)
Seat 8: Dr. Barkley ($9.90 in chips)
Seat 9: OBXBandit ($10 in chips)
Dr. Barkley: posts small blind $0.05O
BXBandit: posts big blind $0.10
*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to Bloody P [Kd 9h]
jocko0240: folds
Bloody P: calls $0.10
forpearl: calls $0.10
Falco63: calls $0.10
ImFlush: folds
dondada02: folds
Dr. Barkley: folds
OBXBandit: checks
*** FLOP *** [Qc Jd Th]
OBXBandit: checks
Bloody P: checks
forpearl: bets $0.30
Falco63: folds
OBXBandit: calls $0.30
Bloody P: raises $0.60 to $0.90
forpearl: calls $0.60
OBXBandit: calls $0.60
*** TURN *** [Qc Jd Th] [Ts]
OBXBandit: checks
Bloody P: bets $2.90 and is all-in
Bloody P said, "yawn"
Bloody P said, "you'll still have 20 cents"
forpearl: folds
OBXBandit: folds
Bloody P collected $3 from pot
Bloody P: doesn't show hand

And this is my favorite. Mostly because of I got him to call with the same line I used above:

PokerStars Game #5847014453: Hold'em No Limit ($0.05/$0.10) - 2006/08/08 -
20:21:10 (ET)
Table 'Mimosa IV' 9-max Seat #9 is the button
Seat 1: jocko0240 ($9.50 in chips)
Seat 3: forpearl ($3.15 in chips)
Seat 4: Falco63 ($10.55 in chips)
Seat 6: ImFlush ($12.55 in chips)
Seat 7: dondada02 ($3.05 in chips)
Seat 8: Dr. Barkley ($10 in chips)
Seat 9: OBXBandit ($8.95 in chips)
jocko0240: posts small blind $0.05
Bloody P: posts big blind $0.10
*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to Bloody P [8s Ad]
forpearl: calls $0.10
Falco63: folds
ImFlush: folds
dondada02: calls $0.10
Dr. Barkley: folds
OBXBandit: calls $0.10
jocko0240: folds
Bloody P: checks
*** FLOP *** [As 6c Js]
Bloody P: bets $0.30
forpearl: calls $0.30
dondada02: folds
OBXBandit: folds
*** TURN *** [As 6c Js] [4d]
Bloody P: bets $0.60
forpearl: calls $0.60
*** RIVER *** [As 6c Js 4d] [Ah]
Bloody P: bets $2.10
Bloody P said, "you'll have a nickel left!"
forpearl: calls $2.10
*** SHOW DOWN ***
Bloody P: shows [8s Ad] (three of a kind, Aces)
forpearl: mucks hand
Bloody P collected $6.15 from pot
Bloody P said, "see!"
*** SUMMARY ***

And then my parting shot:

***Dealt to Bloody P [6s 4c]
Bloody P said, "chip and a chair, my man"
ImFlush: folds
dondada02: calls $0.10
Dr. Barkley: folds
OBXBandit: folds
forpearl has returned
jocko0240: folds
Bloody P said, "now that i've doubled up my $4, I'm going to go masturbate"
forpearl said, "nasty"

What an awesome 15 minutes that was.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006


Forgive me, Father, for it has been 6 days since my last blog post. I have also had 4,323,983 impure thoughts and "flogged the bishop" 9 times.


Things be busy, yo. Getting kids ready for school, signing purchase agreements, inspection contracts, amendments to purchase agreements, farting, interviewing for jobs, etc. can be very taxing. I know, I know, I should sleep more, it's much easier on my constitution.

We're heading back to the Twin Cities on 8/18/06 to prepare for our 8/24/06 closing. This means a lot of cleaning and moving, and other hernia busting activities. Closed caption to Tim, call me on 8/19 and we'll throw some burgers on, drink some beers and shoot the shit.

I have had time to play some cards. Both very shorthanded live games. Lost out on one (one rebuy), and took down the other (again, one rebuy). Since both games had unlimited rebuys, and because of how few people there were playing, the booty got to actually be pretty high. The first game I played, one guy bought in four times for $10, and lost it all. We all ended up losing to this guy who seemingly has a horshoe tattoed on both ass cheeks and pubic hair that grows in patches of four leaf clovers. This guy is the new fucking Luckbox.

The second game was only three handed, but was fun, with timeouts for smokes, beers, and bullshitting. We started at 9pm and the last hand was dealt around 2:30am. I took that one down for a staggering profit of $15.00. W00T!

Off to pick up the kids from Vacation Bible School, yo.

I know, I know...

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Jacks Are NOT OK...

Bad news: I got fucking STACKED by jjok last night.

Good news: It was a blogger extravaganza on Stars last night. At the table: your humble narrator, slb159, Waffles, Iggy, Mookie, Duggle Bogey, Scott McDreamy, and Weak Player.

It was late, I was drinking really bad light beer, and I started out playing tighter than a sphincter in a prison shower.

I sat down with $15, quickly doubled up through Duggle, and won a few small pots to get myself up to $33 or so. I was feeling good (thank you beer!) and was folding more than a Gap employee, concentrating instead on the mucho hawesome table banter going on.

Then jjok sat down. After a rousing greeting, he posted his big blind and began kicking my donkey ass.

I get dealt AK off and pop it up 3 times the big blind. He smooth calls. The flop looks semi-harmless, coming down x99. I figured there was no way that he hit that flop, and since he didn’t reraise me preflop, I figured I was good here and didn’t put him on anything but AK or AQ. I raised, he re-raised, and for some stupid reason (thanks beer!) I pushed. He flips aces and takes about $25 from me in one hand.

Waffles made a comment that I’ve thought a lot about, and that I’ve realized is a big hole in my game. In short, Waffles point basically was that I was playing the cash game like it was an MTT. There was NO reason for me to push into jjok post flop. If I really thought that I had him, I should have called his re-raise and waited for the turn card to come and then waited to see what happened. Sure, if an ace or a king comes down, I’m probably going to stay aggressive, but if another rag comes down and he still bets into me, I can fold. Thanks for the tip, Waffles.

Instead, though, I doubled him up due to pure stupidity (thanks beer!).

My buzz escalated a bit, and after some more folding, I pushed my last $6 into jjok on a hand that I can’t even remotely remember (thanks beer!). Poof! I’m stacked.

The funny thing was that I didn’t tilt. Not at all. Normally getting myself up to $33 only to lose it ALL would keep me up at night replaying hands and cursing the day I ever started playing poker online.

Knowing that my money went to a poker blogger (and someone I respect) instead of some random sardine made the bitter pill a little easier to swallow. But, I think that the main reason I was tilt-free (now with beer!), was that I couldn’t think of a better way to spend $33 than sitting at a table with a bunch of bloggers, slinging chips, hurling insults, and laughing my ass off.

Plus, I WILL get that money back. Watch out, jjok. You’ll get your Back Alley Mugging someday. It may not be today. It may not be tomorrow. Or the next day. Or the day after that. Or a week and two days after that. Or a fortnight from then. But it’s coming, yo. It’s coming.