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Thursday, October 25, 2007

Live Blogging Game 2

7:21: Joe Buck and Tim McCarver. Ugh. I may have to puncture my eardrums with sporks.

7:25: Someone needs to tell Jamey Carroll that he's gay..."lockermate"? C'mon, we know what you mean.

7:27: Serena Williams is getting thicker and thicker. Not that I wouldn't take a stab at it or anything.

7:30: Grandpa Schilling in da hizzouse!

7:32: Not a good sign when Schill hits a guy 4 pitches in...

7:34: I've already turned off Buck and McCarver and put on the new Wilco CD.

7:38: May be time to get the walker and Depends for Schill. He's not looking goot.

7:41: Freeroll time on Full Tilt!!!

7:47: And I'm out of the freeroll... NO, I DON'T want to talk about it.

7:54: Schilling sort of looks like if I were to face the Rockies line-up tonight. I know he's a "big game" pitcher. But jeezus, I sorta want Bea Arthur out there.

7:57: If Lugo can't hit, that sumbitch might as well field! He's the epitome of "no hit/good field" scouting reports this year. Nice double play, ass-bat...

8:04: MMMMM...Homemade chili. This shit has been simmering for almost 5 hours on the stove. I did take a short cut and used Carroll Shelby's seasoning from the grocery aisle, but oh sweet 8 lb 6 oz baby jesus yes.

8:06: So now that Tek was caught looking for the third out, I've been thinking about something. I've been cooking lately. A lot. I've think I may do a little live-food-blogging a la BG. We have a kick-ass butcher in town, and I think I could give a lot of you man-children some good (read: chick friendly) grill recipes. Not only that, but I've been a whiz kid in the kitchen as well.

8:12: I hope Schilling his Taveraz here again. Just to, you know, prove a point.

8:14: Wow! Schilling reached up into the farthest reaches of his asshole and has found his groove!

8:20: I liked the way last night went better....

8:25: Have to admit, I have a man-crush on Youuuuuk and his 70's vagina goatee.


8:37: Beer has officially kicked in, beetches.

8:45: FINALLY. A FUCKING SCORE! I was starting to get a little armpitty for an inning there.

9:09: Pretty drunk.

9:15: Manny Ramirez's swing is as pretty as Jessica Simpson's vagina. And believe me, I know.

9:36: Kids finally in bed. Whew!!!!

9:45: Too many beers. Oki-whazhizname is in? Thank God he got the parrot back. And if I hear FUCKING McCarver talk about the "head jerk" by Okijima one more time, I'm flying to Boston and decapitating him.

I'll be a national hero.

9:48: Okijima is now MY national hero. Way to get out of the inning, bubsy.

9:54: TV is muted again. God, how those two ass clowns stay on the air on a major network is completely beyond any comprehension that I can muster.

10:00: I have decided on The Fruit Bats "Spelled in Bones" as World Series listening music. Low-fi pop at its finest. Check 'em out.

10:05: Youk gives me heart attacks every goddamn at bat. Yeah, he works the pitchers, but sweet jebus!


10:06: Runners on the corners? Papi batting? A new pitcher who's going to be pressing?

I like me them odds.

10:10: Fuck me. The ONE guy who could open this game up (Papi), and he flies out.

Gonna be a close one to the end, folks.

10:31: Wife had to use the computer....

10:32: Varitek...I think he probably batted better here:

10:35: Leetle nervous about Oki pitching this long. It's like leaving me in a porno movie for more than 3 minutes...

11:14: Paps is our generation's Milton Berle.

Night all.


Blogger Unknown said...

Nice work BP.

What I don't get is how Fox/MLB execs don't understand that their announcers are semi-retarded.

And I'm being generous with the 'semi' qualification.

10/25/07, 8:23 PM  
Blogger Heavy Critters said...

You are being VERY generous with the 'semi'.

I mean, jeezus, McCarver says the SAME DAMN THING EVERY SINGLE GAME.

And Joe Buck is just living off his dad's name.

10/25/07, 10:01 PM  
Blogger Heavy Critters said...

Hee hee, I said "semi"

10/25/07, 10:03 PM  

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