Open Letter to J.D. Drew

Dear Mr. Drew,

As I'm sure you are painfully aware, you have been swinging a total and complete ass-bat this season.

Due to the billions of dollars you are making each and every year, Red Sox Nation obviously expected more out of you.

I expected more out of you.

But now, with one glorious swing of that (former) ass-bat, you've made it ok.

I come to you with with open arms.

Why don't you do us all a favor and have yourself a repeat performance tonight and into the World Series.

I love you,

Bloody P

P.S. Needless to say, my wife won't be making me watch "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" tonight. My sincerest thanks for that, as well.