Alessandra Ambrosio and Poker

I was thinking tonight about what Alessandra Ambrosio and poker have in common.

And then a thought occurred to me, and everything became clear:

I played two No Limit Hold Em games tonight. I didn't make the money in either.

I played in two H.O.R.S.E. SnGs tonight. I outright won them both.

The only logical conclusion is that Alessandra Ambrosio helped me win H.O.R.S.E. because I found this about 2 minutes before I started the H.O.R.S.E. tourney:


If the boy shorts fit, you must acquit!

Get Back On That H.O.R.S.E.

It's a dreary Sunday afternoon here in middle America. Football is on the TV, biscuits and gravy have been consumed, I'm thinking about having a beer, and I'm bored.

Good time for a post.

I've made a pretty significant switch in game the past week. I've been staying away from the NL Hold Em and focusing on H.O.R.S.E. SnGs and Razz tournies with mixed results. My online roll is down, but not by much.

The main reason for the switch is that I realized that I'm just ok at NLHE. Maybe a little better than break-even. I don't see myself making huge cashes in online tournaments or running over a cash game anytime soon.

Plus, I like the challenge of playing five different games under one roof. It helps keep me more focused on the game at hand rather than the TV, Google Reader, the IM chat box, etc.

The major hole in my H.O.R.S.E. game is the Omaha part. Just when I think I've got the nuts, somebody comes along with the better nuts.

Thankfully, Drizz (the Omaha master) has started to give me some tips to the game which will hopefully improve it.

I've started looking around online for solid H.O.R.S.E. , Razz, and Omaha strategy and will probably bug more of my online friends for tips and tricks to get ahead.

Once I feel more comfortable with the games, I think I'll start a six month bankroll challenge and see if I can hit my goals or go busto.

Any help any of my invisible friends have for me out there would be much appreciated.

And before I forget. Here is Kate Beckinsale, Bloody P's treat of the day:

NO BAD BEAT JACKPOT??

I lost two HUGE hands tonight. Both were Full House over Full House.

Let me repeat that: I turned a full house TWICE, and lost to a better full house.

How brutal is that? It put me on tilt enough to donk off another 10% of my Full Tilt bankroll.

I would go on a Waffles like rant about it, but I'm sick and tired. Literally.

Happy Thanksgiving or whatever.

EDIT: Ended up taking down a mostly blogger HORSE tourney to cover my losses and boost my meager bankroll a bit.

I also got my Full Tilt chat privileges back (don't ask), so get ready for much filth to be spewed in a chat box near you.

Friday Night Lights

So I took a pretty significant hit to my bankroll last night. Yep, about $8.00.

Now to some of my degenerate friends, that's a drop in the bucket when compared to their online bankroll.

For me, that's big money.

That's the bad news.

The good news is that a bunch of my gambling cohorts dropped their playing standards and joined me in $1 and $2 tourneys on Full Tilt. And they dropped them huge. This is akin to Gisele Bundchen dumping Tom Brady to go out with me.


Yeah, these guys were playing waaaaay beneath themselves.


I didn't money in any of tournies I played last night, but still had a blast hanging out with RamaRama, AlCan'tHang, Gracie, and DonkeyPuncher.

Thanks for the fun, and screw you guys for the hangover.

Poker is Fucking Stupid

Not once. Oh no no no no NOOOOO. But TWICE.

Felted by a guy chasing a two-outer who hits it on the river.

TWICE.

WITH TWO OUTS!

Fuck (Prakash Padukone) and poker.

I feel like fucking Waffles right now, except playing with correct odds.

In other news:

Megan Fox is still pretty hot and would probably fucking fold with only two outs and one card to go:

Poker Blogging: Now With More Sienna Miller!

It's been many moons since I've actually typed up anything about poker, but I've been playing again lately, so I figured "What the hell, why not?"

Now that Twitter is the new Blogger, I've been tweeting most of my rants and bad beat stories there instead of here.

But 140 characters just ain't cutting it anymore.

So, I'd like to announce the triumphant return of not only Sienna Miller photos, who helped this micro stakes no limit poker player get a ton of hits, but also some actual poker content.

And I'm not talking about hand histories (well, maybe sometimes), or deep and philosophical thoughts about how I played a certain hand (ok, every once in awhile), or just plain boring poker talk that got played out by poker blogs in 2006 and 2007 (*cough* Hoy *cough*).

No, this poker blog is going to focus on whatever I'm feeling about the game at any given time. Yes, bad beat stories (in rant form) will be posted. No, I won't feel obligated to give you a dollar to tell them. It's my blog, dammit.

So consider this a reawakening of not only my game, but this blog.

Now it's time to get my junk kicked in by a bunch of donkeys at the (I'm looking at you Rama) at either the Daily Dollar or a nice $2.25 Sit and Go on Full Tilt Poker.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Also: