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Saturday, July 08, 2006

An Indecent Proposal

So, first off, I can't believe I'm in Kentucky instead of Vegas right now. Seriously. All of you who are going to come back with your wild WPBT stories? Fuck off. OK, I'm kidding. No I'm not. Yes I am. Wait. Am I? Damn.

Father, it's been 8 days since I've played poker...

This may change, as I've found out that Harrah's has a casino w/poker room in Metropolis, IL, which is only about 40 minutes from Kirksey, KY where I'm currently crashing. I'm planning on going on Monday or Tuesday, so if any non-Vegas-going broggers are in the area, email me if you want to hook up and take all of my monies.

So. I'm in Kentucky. My parents are living on 62 acres of land here. In a mobile home. Groundbreaking on their dream house begins this fall. It's beautiful here; rolling hills, winding roads, pungent yet heartbreaking smells, and family. I've made mucho fun of the south, but good god, southern hospitality is no myth. It's alive and well in the greater Paducah area. Conversations are made out of nothing: a child's card game, looking for soap, buying gum. Any of these things can lead to a half hour of talking and laughing. My opinion of this place has changed quite a bit, even in just the past three days.

So here's the deal. Today, my mom and dad offered us 5-10 acres here to build on. For free. Carved out, signed, notorized, given to me and my family just for the pleasure of having us closer to them (and my sister and her 742 kids).

It's a hell of an offer. We could sell our house, build our dream home and be close to loved ones. We'd be close to Murray State where I could finish my degree dirt cheap, the cost of living here is lower, we'd have tons of land for the kids to roam and play on, I could fuck donkeys whenever I pleased... These are the pros.

The cons?

It's fucking KENTUCKY.

Smurfette is sort of intrigued by the idea, since we are at a point in our lives where we can do anything we want to do. Me? I'm entertaining it. Like Carrot Top entertains. 'Nuff said.

Jebus. Kentucky? Me? From the Cities to the sticks? I don't know.

Southern bloggers, activate! Form of INPUT! Shape of INFORMATION!

I've had too much wine in this dry county to think straight tonight.


Blogger TenMile said...

Yes. Do It! But don't break up the acreage.

7/8/06, 1:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, you'd be about 300 miles from a lot of great cities. That's a long way. You have to REALLY like the town you're in, because the change of scenery is a 4 hour drive.

However, your folks are getting older. Time for you to look after them is probably coming within 7-10 years or so.

They're going to like having the grandkids around, so they'll always watch the kids when you and the Mrs. need some "grown-up time." even if it's for a week or two.

However, Paducah is a little too small for me. I moved from Atlanta to Savannah, from 2 million to 250,000, and it feels just right.

So, no advice either way, just points to consider. I'll be funny in the next comment, I promise.

Mr. P.

7/8/06, 6:33 AM  
Blogger TeeDubb said...


Kentucky really isn't that bad, if you don't mind the fanatical UK fans.

I live here and don't hate it - it's better than Ohio.

Except I live in Northern Kentucky, which is pretty much an extension of Cincinnati. Paducah is seriously in the sticks.

When you're building your house, make sure you have 'em put up a big shed in the woods so you can build your own still. I'd come and visit you for gallon or so of some White Lightning. hehe

The best advantage I can think of would be that you'll be within driving distance to Iggy's home game, to which you are now officially invited.

Don't let the six hour drive to Cincinnati scare you - you can crash on my couch. I'm sure my wife won't mind some strange guy I met on the Intarweb sleeping downstairs.

Besides, when you live in Paducah, everything is at least a 3 hour drive. ;P


7/8/06, 10:27 AM  
Blogger Pokerwolf said...

Let's see...

You'll be near your family, but far enough away to have your own life.

You'll only be paying for the cost of your dream house.

You'll be 40 minutes from a casino, six hours from Iggy, four and a half hours or so from AlCantHang.

Unless you run into a problem (such as wanting to be able to drive in to a "city" easily, for example), I'd say that's a damn good offer.

7/9/06, 9:56 PM  
Blogger CarmenSinCity said...

We miss you here in Vegas! I hope you can make it out in December.

7/10/06, 5:05 AM  
Blogger BrainMc said...

Free land is +EV. Do it. Spend time near the family and take advantage the opportunity if you think you can live that far away from any good sized cities. The dry county part might suck though.

7/10/06, 11:09 AM  
Blogger Heavy Critters said...

Thanks for the input all. And Carmen, thanks for the nice note. I wish I were there with all of you crazy mofos.

I may be able to make the WPBT in December, although, I'll probably be back in January for a bachelor party.

Tee-dub, the invitiation to Iggy's homegame is almost tempting enough to make the move! Thanks for the invite! Now go blog!

7/10/06, 1:04 PM  
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